The #ParentsPromise

"The process of separation is failing millions of children and parents, across the UK. Every year, an estimated 280,000 children, a similar number to the size of the population of Newcastle, experience family separation.*

It's one of the greatest, least-recognized, health risks to our children.

The Positive Parenting Alliance is a group of organisations, and individuals, who believe that all children deserve the most positive experience possible during parental separation or divorce.

Our aim is to create a genuinely child-focussed society and better systems to ensure the long-term wellbeing of children when parents separate."

James Hayhurst, Parents Promise Founder

*Family Solutions Group 2020

Why this is so important.

For children, whilst separation will bring inevitable feelings of loss and change, they can still thrive if their parents work in partnership to create the right conditions. We know that children are more likely to adapt with fewer problems, and less emotional distress, when parents are able to part with compassion and continue to work together in partnership even when they are not together.

Make the promise

Did You Know?

280,000

Every year c280,000 children in the UK see their parents separate.

Family Solutions Group 2020

No 1 mental health issue for children

The primary reason for children being referred to counselling are the effects of family breakdown (Fegans 2020). 'Ongoing family tensions' is one of the most common presenting issues in primary-age children who are referred for Place2Be's one-to-one counselling (67%).

Counselling and Psychotherapy Research Journal

More children affected year on year

In 2019 there were over 200,000 Children's Act orders made (an increase of over 11%), and over 50,000 private law cases (an increase of over 6%).

Ministry of Justice, 2020

Massive financial cost

The annual cost to the taxpayer of family breakdown is estimated to stand at £51bn (2018 figures), up from £37bn ten years ago.

relationshipsfoundation.org

The changes we are calling for

Every child has a need to be loved by both their parents and their wider families, the right not to have to choose one parent over the other and to be shielded from conflict and adult conversations. They have the right to have both parents working together to create the conditions for them to succeed. They have the right to be a child.

Make the promise

The 3 Changes

1

The creation of a culture in which we all play a part in protecting children from harm, and in helping them thrive, when parents separate.

2

Family wellbeing to become central to the conduct of government, business and all organisations. Employers should recognise the trauma of separation in their HR policies and provide more flexible work, and emotional support, during this period so that children affected are properly supported and their needs considered paramount.

3

An evidence-based approach to family breakdown, fuelled by a better understanding of the damage done to children through traumatic separations and the collection of data on the financial and emotional costs of family breakdown, including the mental health outcomes for adults and children involved in family law proceedings.

Make the Parents Promise

The #ParentsPromise

Dear

Whatever happens in our relationship with each other,

promise to put your needs first by always:

Recognising that we are both your parents. You have a need for a relationship with each of us, and your wider family. We will never make you choose between us.

Loving you and keeping you safe, whilst always being respectful to one another. As your parents we will never hurt or tell lies about each other.

Working together as a partnership to provide for you and to create the best conditions for you to thrive.

By signing and submitting your Parents Promise you will receive a personalised downloadable pdf certificate.

The Parents Promise in the Media

Parents Promise HR initiative launch (Jan 2023)

The Parents Promise on BBC 5 Live Breakfast (October 2021)

C4 A fathers fight to see his son through a broken family court system (May 2021)

The Parents Promise Launch Video (May 2021)

Press Clippings

The Parents Promise is not responsible for the content of external sites.

For parents and education professionals